One of my Daddy’s favorite basketball players was Harlan Stanley. Daddy always said:
“Stanley can’t run, but he gets down the court. He can’t jump but he rebounds the ball. He can’t shoot but he scores. That’s heart. Some people call it desire. It’s the one thing you’ve got to have to be successful, and it’s the one thing that can’t be taught. If you don’t love the game, and I mean love it, then you might as well find something else to do.”
I’ve been evaluating myself lately, taking a look at my priorities, my responsibilities and yes, my heart. I seem to need this every so many years, and it always turns out to be a good thing. This time, I have taken a look at the things that are most important to me. The process has not been easy. I’ve struggled with separating my desires from my responsibilities. I should say perceived responsibilities, since I can easily feel responsible for everything if I’m not careful.
The question I keep asking myself is, What do I want? Not surprisingly, some of my friends are asking me the same question. I’m amazed at how hard it is to answer that question. The easy answer is Everything. But that’s a cop-out. Of course I want everything. Doesn’t everybody? But as I said, this is supposed to be about my heart.
In the past few years, I’ve tried to surround myself with everything. Art, crafting, collecting, traveling, volunteering, writing… the list goes on and on. I do wish that I could do everything I want to do, but that is as difficult as it is impractical.
So what is in my heart? The need to love and be loved, to create, to feel relevant, to somehow pay forward the blessings that I have been given. Those things are at least part of my heart, my desire.
I love and believe in my writing. I need to write in order to satisfy my heart. So, while I’m still struggling with this self-evaluation process, I know one thing, I can’t stop writing. It is part of my heart.
Thank you, Daddy.